My Only Card

By Rita Murstein Wohl

You have left me. I am now alone.
God knows I did not want this to be.
Please come back to me as a wispy thought.
Please come in a bold dream when I can hold you...

I turn to talk to you and you are not there.
I ask a question and know that the mysteries will
forever be a part of me...

Why do these yearnings grow?
Even a taper has an end.
The glowing memories almost seem
a gateway to hell on earth.

I want to welcome my father home,
sit on his lap and ask him about my world.
When can I miss my mother in my most wrenching way
and yet know that she will return?

Can Lila and I ever again tell secrets in the dark at night
or scare each other in a fright?

Can I ever feel a protective arm that lets me rest from the world?
I am so tired. I need to rest but I must stay at attention
so that I don't miss you.

When you speak badly to me,
when you are not right with me,
you can't do that.
There were people who would not let you
say these things to me.
As I get older my protectors slip away.
My age is the only card I have to play.